Attack of The Whinge Monster

Cafe grumpy child

Looking grumpy; the whinge monster is on its way

Before I begin, I should stress how lucky we are. Many parents of children with ASD have to deal with meltdowns on a weekly or daily basis, and if you’re not familiar with what a meltdown is, it’s a bit like a tantrum but on a nuclear scale. They’re often triggered by the child feeling overwhelmed by sensory stimulation that they just don’t have the skills to cope with.

Well Wee Girl doesn’t have meltdowns, something which I am enormously grateful for. Her tantrums are just that: tantrums. Sometimes triggered by frustration, or tiredness, or not being able to have the thing she really, really wants. They’re few and far between, usually taking place when she’s already feeling unwell, and they are usually easily dealt with. A hug. A well-timed chocolate biscuit. A short spell in her room until she calms down or falls asleep.

And then we get times like last night and this morning where the full-blown whinge monster comes out. She hasn’t been sleeping well, and was up far too early this morning, and I guess dinner wasn’t on the table fast enough, and–bang–the whinge-monster hits.

Describing the noise she makes verges on impossible. As unpronouncable and unspellable as the name of one of Lovecraft’s creations (and EXACTLY the sort of noise they’d make too), it’s kind of like a long drawn-out groan,which shoots up into an ear-splitting squeal at regular intervals. A bit like an ambulance siren.


drill whinging child toddler

Image courtesy of domdeen at

Just like the sound of a screaming baby, it drills into your skull, impossible to tune out or ignore.


On and on and on. And because there’s usually nothing specific that she wants there’s very little that you can do.


And even if there is something she wants, she can’t tell you what it is because she’s pre-verbal and when she’s like this, showing you is usually beyond her.


Sometimes it stops for a while, and you think that maybe, just maybe, she’s over it, that she’s cheered up and you can both happily get on with the rest of your day. Then:


And gradually your wall of patience is chipped away fragment by fragment and you start getting frazzled. If you’re out you feel like everyone is staring at you, because you haven’t yet built up the thick skin you need to stop yourself from caring. And you start snapping, which doesn’t help and just gets the both of you more upset and frustrated.

And if you’re at home, you thank god you’re at home, give her a cuddle and…


…pack her off to bed, pray that she settles and pour yourself a massive glass of wine.


The Uncheshire Wife
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Best of Worst

About allpastmidnight

Hi, I'm Alison, I am a mid-thirties mum to two children, Little Man and Wee Girl. Wee Girl is pre-verbal and has autism, while Little Man is the sort of happy chatty little guy who gets into everything and sings at the top of his lungs — until the moment he makes eye contact with a stranger and he goes silent. I am cynical, sweary, and a bit disorganised, and I blog about parenting, ASD, food and just about anything else I can think of. Feel free to follow me on any of my social media. I can also be contacted by email at allpastmidnight [at] outlook [dot] com.
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16 Responses to Attack of The Whinge Monster

  1. Wine – yes! Try gin too 🙂 Well done you for keeping your patience for as long as you did before becoming frazzled. When my LO tantrums I just can’t hack it and his are the regular type! #twinklytuesday

    • Gin sounds fab, but probably not at this time in the morning. If only. All is quiet at the moment, but I had to resort to making porridge (after a bowl of cereal). I’m enjoying the peace while it lasts

  2. I admire your patience, and keeping calm I’m sure it’s the best thing to do, it’s so hard when they can’t voice their feelings.
    Thanks for linking to #TalkaiTues

  3. Good idea on the wine! Would it make me a terrible mother to admit that when my kids are gringe-y I put on music to drown it out/ try to elevate theirs and my mood? There’s few things that make laugh more than watching my littlest bopping to Beyonce (he thinks he’s a single lady, apparently!)

  4. I hear you! My daughter is going through a shouting stage at it is as you describe, going right through your skull testing the very limit of your patience. She shouts and points at whatever it is she is after, and because she is too young to say, it frustrates her and me. More wine for the Mums please! X

    • It’s so hard sometimes, isn’t it? If it’s just a tantrum I can laugh about it, because let’s face it, tantrums can be funny sometimes when it’s clearly a child deliberately throwing a strop to get what they want, but genuine frustration is really horrible. Sometimes there isn’t enough wine in the world. There definitely isn’t enough in my kitchen.

  5. There’s nothing more testing as a parent than when your dear darling is making that noise that makes you want to kick them out of the window lol! I find with one I can cope, but when they both go, it blows my mind. Make that a bottle of wine 😉
    Keep going!
    x MMT #bestandworst

  6. Whining drives me insane!! You just can’t reason with them when they are in that sort if mood and you want to tear your hair out!! I end up usually giving in to TV and chill time when my girl is like that. Great post and thanks so much for linking up to #bestandworst and see you soon xx

    • Yeah, TV can really be a lifesaver sometimes. Even if it’s just ten minutes to give you a chance to calm down and recover. I have been known to close the baby gate to the living room and hide on the stairs. Thanks for visiting.

  7. Pingback: Reasons to be Cheerful #6 | All Past Midnight

  8. Ohhh whining! I have a whiner (not on the scale of the above!). He’s just started. Twice this week it’s been a pain as I’ve been driving home! Tuesday he spent the whole journey whining that he wanted to go back to Nannie’s to get his toys! And today for most of the journey home he was asking, no sorry, shouting ‘LET ME GET OUT’…over and over and over again! Why when I’m trying to concentrate on driving I ask?! Just to let you know (very politely) that you linked up the wrong badge! It should be the normal star one rather than the I’ve had a post featured one! Message me if confused 🙂 Thanks so much for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday

    • Argh, sorry. I’ve fixed it now. It’s all still a bit overwhelmng. I’ve fixed it now, sorry about that. You have my sympathy on having to deal with awhiner, especially while driving. If there’s one noise guaranteed to distract, it’s whining. Sorry again for the badge mix-upand thanks for visiting

  9. Pingback: Yes, I Am That Woman in the Supermarket | All Past Midnight

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